Tune my heart to sing Thy grace.

The close of the summer is always a bit sad - back to school, back to work, back to routine, back to whatever schedule keeps you busy. But this year I am looking forward to what the year has in store. I just got home from camp a few days ago and moved into my sister and brother-in-law's house and started looking for a job. My plans did not include camp this summer, but God sometimes works in mysterious ways. Initially I was anxious about being in the middle of nowhere when I should have been looking for work back at home, but God was teaching me to trust this summer. Many dads at camp were interested to hear what was next in my life and so many offered help and connections in my job hunt. It was immensely comforting to know that even though I was working in the middle of nowhere in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, there were dads from the Chicago area that were willing to help. Trust. I'm learning how to trust.

At the campfires this summer, we decided to make Come Thou Fount a regular song. First of all, what a beautiful song. The words are poetic and oftentimes, I think people are turned away from hymns because they do not understand the meaning. One reason I love hymns is because they are not so easily understood at first and there is more depth in the song and it takes greater concentration to understand what the writer was striving to express. "Tune my heart to sing thy grace." That prayer is not asking God to change one's situation or a longing for wants or needs, but a prayer to change me, adjust me, so that I can sing of your great grace right where I am for all that he has already provided. I love that. That became my prayer this summer and I was at peace - not worrying about what lies ahead, finally getting a glimpse of what it is like to trust and letting praise seep into my heart and soul.

Gretchen

Saturday afternoons, publications, & a cup o' joe.

I just submitted a paper for an academic journal. What?! After last semester, my professor was talking to me about publishing my paper on Dayton's Dept. Store and presenting my research at conferences. Well, I have presented it at one undergraduate conference, placed 3rd in the Library Research Prize, and am now attempting to have it published...finally.

Part of me wonders what will happen after graduation, like some academic withdrawal or something. Was it challenging for you to no longer have homework or classes where you knew you were learning valuable lessons, even perhaps life lessons? More school is sounding way too tempting right about now. When I get back to Minneapolis this fall, I think I'm going to start studying for my GRE's - just to feel like I am taking a step and who knows, maybe other plans will fall into place before taking it or I will be glad that I did. I recently watched a sermon given by Bill Hybels on stronger faith. He was talking about how we have so little faith in big things, but it is taking steps in the small things that leads to big things. I don't know if that made any sense, but it resonated with me. I have no confirmation as to what I am supposed to be doing, but at least I feel like I am taking the next step. Who knows, maybe it will lead me to decisions and opportunities I wasn't expecting.

Happy Saturday,
Gretchen

Pet Peeves and other things.

So I have this pet peeve. Whenever people mix up their relations by calling a first cousin once removed, their second cousin, it kind of annoys me. It seems pathetic, as almost all pet peeves go, but it really can irritate me. Probably because I am about a generation off entirely on my mothers side so I had it all straightened out as a little kid. Try explaining to a little kid that their first cousin is in their 40's, and their kid that happens to be about your age, is actually your first cousin once removed. ;) So, I have spoken and let you in on my little secret, so you won't have to hear of it again.

It has been quite some time since I have written, mostly because I felt that all I had to relay was boring news about school and stress, Dayton's, and my love for learning. But I thought it important to update this space since I have been up to very different things this January. While I was on an adventure last January, roaming around England, France, Belgium, and Germany, this January I traveled to one place: my hometown, Langdon. There was no need to take a class this month, so I took what could possibly be, my last long stay at home. It's different coming home after you have moved out. All of a sudden, whatever independence you had, which was little, kind of disappears as you are no longer entirely on your own, but there are three people with ideas, opinions, and their own way of doing every little thing. While it has been good, it has been different. My mother and I cleaned out some closets and other spaces that seemed to draw in piles, drank coffee, watched movies, visited old friends [by old friends, I don't necessarily mean that we have been friends for a long time, but rather, they are old. ;)] and I read, for fun. For some time, I have wanted to read Anna Karenina, but have never had the time to delve into that book. I kept putting it off, thinking that I would have more time during Christmas and J-term of my senior year. Well I started it. But as soon as I did, I wasn't really in the mood to start something so large that would require I page through the notes extensively to read of political and social culture foreign to me. I have been powering through though, and am becoming more interested the farther I get. Hopefully I can stay interested and focused when school work piles up soon.

I just thought of another pet peeve. I hate bunk beds. I hate making my bunk bed at school and I absolutely detest making the bunk beds at home. Today, I finally crawled up to the top and tried to straighten the sheets as best as I could. The problem is that there is no making a bunk bed perfect; it simply cannot be done. I give up. Someday when I have my own place, you will not find a bunk bed.

Now I'm done.

On a positive note: I have an internship! And two interviews this next week! Decisions are looming...

Though the Mountains Be Shaken...

Found this not too long ago and it could not have come at a better time. Completed my rough draft of my senior seminar project on department stores a little over a week ago. My professor wants me to send it in to several undergraduate academic journals across the U.S. to be published...eek! Until then, many other things to accomplish and that I am waiting on. Soon I will hopefully hear back on an internship with the MN Historical Society. Very excited, and a little scared, as I look ahead!

Thank you, Lord, for peace

through the harder times and also, 

the times when I can see the light at 

the end of the tunnel.

come thou fount of every blessing

So wonderful.

Captivated

     I feel that it is important for me to write tonight. I'm on a bit of a scholarly high right now. It is Wednesday night, which means that I had my Senior Seminar class earlier this evening. That hour that we meet as a class is honestly one of the best hours of my week and I thoroughly look forward to it all week long. Usually, I am terrified because my fear is that my professor will tell me I am not doing enough research each week, but once I get there, I don't want to leave. This is mostly because of my professor. She is wonderful, but I connect with her because of her unabashed love for history. And this does not only connect me to her, but to many of my lovely professors.

     We have been reading articles by major historians on the importance of doing history and how to integrate our faith with our scholarship. As my professor reads an inspiring sentence, she will just set her paper down and breathe in slowly, then look at us and say, "Isn't that just wonderful?" Two weeks ago we read an introduction to a book, titled The First Thanksgiving, by Robert Tracy McKenzie. I so badly want to read it now, but let's be honest, "ain't nobody got time for that." He spoke to the importance of doing history and he made it sound so noble. I feel as though what I do is actually a public service. I love that I was wired for this. When my professor stops reading to just reflect on the statement, I am right there with her; it is so encouraging and brings such purpose to my being as a Christ follower and hopeful historian. I love what I am learning and have learned. I love that I have been drawn to history from a young age. Often it surprises me when fellow classmates state that they chose to add a history major to complement their social studies ed. major and to set them a step above the rest. This I do not understand, because the truth is, I am completely enthralled with American history. I simply could not imagine doing anything else with my life.

     This is affirmed when my professor encourages me. Tonight during my one on one, she complimented my historiography and my presentation and really had no advice or criticism for my work. Last week, after presenting my Historiography, which I was extremely nervous for by the way, she looked up from her notes and simply said, "that was great." I love that my passion seeps out of my work.

     This post is not meant to pride myself, for I have been trying to practice humility and have been thinking of it extensively, even though I feel that I am usually the opposite in lacking confidence in myself and my abilities, but I want to remember this night. I want to remember this passion and love I have had for history for so long and my desire to constantly learn and take in as much information as possible. I love that I am not alone in my love and that there are others I can look to and learn from. Some people go their entire four years of college life and still not fully grasp their passions; I am very thankful that I know mine. I am thankful for professors that have challenged me and show interest in my interests.

I am thankful that this is who I was created to be and that this is the profession I was wired to do.

Story:

Last week was Homecoming here at Bethel and since Bethel is facing major economic hardship, professors in the liberal arts departments have been focusing heavily on the importance of their scholarship and why it should remain a facet at Bethel. So on Saturday, alumni in the business, law, non-profit, and writing sectors held a forum type meeting where we could talk to them and hear about how their liberal arts education helped them seek jobs and to gain connections as we begin to look for jobs. During that morning's gathering, the history department was interviewing students. I was one of them interviewed and the question came up, "Why did you choose a history degree?" If you know me, that was a stupid question. What else would I have done? Didn't they know they were talking to the girl that had read Little House on the Prairie as a child, along with the Mandie series and Ann Rinaldi books? I simply answered, "there was nothing else I could do." For as long as I can remember, history has been my passion and the only subject I ever found completely interesting. The truth is, it is captivating. That may seem weird to others that find history boring, but we have so much to learn. There have been so many things I have learned here that I question why they were never taught in high school. For instance, why do most people not know about the Virgin Soil epidemics? It baffles me how little the American public really knows about their own background.

Excitement

I haven't been writing as much, but that may be a good thing as I have become increasingly more involved with department things, new friendships (as well as old), and Bethel life altogether. This fall I am working on my senior seminar. That is a class that each major has at Bethel, but they all consist of slightly different content. For History, I use this semester for independent research, write a 30 page paper, and present my research to the entire History faculty, along with students, family, and friends. It used to terrify me, but it's a good thing. The intent is that it gives you undergraduate experience to prepare you for grad school. yikes... I am ecstatic though because I have a topic and it is actually something I am very excited to research...and it may even provide me with a job after school!

My topic is department stores in the early 20th century and class/gender relations between the women working and the women consuming, with a focus on the department store, Dayton's, which opened in Minneapolis. Suffice it to say, there is a wealth of information here for me to dig through. I am very thankful. A few of my professors have come up to at different times and told me that this research could wind up landing me a job; Target came out of Dayton's and as all know (which I didn't know), big corporations always have an archivist. For my research I will be contacting Target Corporation to dig through their archives and hopefully it could turn into something much greater than findings for my research. Who knows what will come of this! Regardless if this could turn into a job, I am very excited the things I am learning.

At the same time, I am trying to keep life in perspective; school is important, but it is not the only thing in my life. This weekend I was able to go camping with quite a few of my siblings and their families and we had a great time. I love that most of them are so close and I can be a part of their individual families and see their little kiddo's grow up.

Another blessing in my life are my roommates. How awesome is it to be surrounded by people that are excited for me and the things that are exciting to me! I love sharing life with these two wonderful women. Our little apartment is becoming such a lovely little home to come back to as we grow evermore closer.

On a side note: Since I live in an apartment, we cook all of our own meals. I'm tired of what I cook. If any of you have some solid go to meals, share them! Sometimes I think the hardest part of cooking, is simply figuring out what to cook.