Confusing.

I'm feelin' this lately. This interim i will start my introduction to education classes and am sort of nervous that i will find out that teaching is not for me, which would result in utter loss of what to do with my life. The more i think about my idea of a book/coffee/antique store, the harder it is to get it out of my head. That store is my dream job. Who knows, maybe it will happen someday.

Sweet Louise.

I went with Brookie yesterday to run some errands and to just hangout and she introduced me to this band that opened for Blitzen Trapper and Dawes. They are fantastic. Seriously, I can't stop listening to them. If you need some car dancin' music, here you go! Here is just the first song from the album, but they are all simply, darling. Have a listen...

Nonsensical.

I am feeling irrational and nonsensical.

Today I am writing a major paper for my history class. There have been many times when I have planned my weekends to get homework done, but let's face it...I can't do much on Saturdays. I am convinced that Saturdays were not meant for homework; they were designed to take a break, have fun, and watch movies. I physically have a hard time actually doing homework. Oh man...

This paper that I am writing is a paper comparing and contrasting two early American colonies. First off, I hate comparing and contrasting. It's stupid. (me being irrational) Second, I am having a hard time getting the religious and economic side to run smoothly. I have all these ideas in my head, but cannot get them out in a manner that actually makes sense. Like, did you know that one of the main reasons the Great Awakening was so powerful, was that George Whitefield was able to advertise and cheaply produce his written works so that people showed up for his sermons? And he didn't do too well in the south because, well they were Anglican, and most of the people did not read or write and were too spread apart to have thousands come together to listen to him. Fascinating. Anyways, I will quit boring you with all this talk of the economy in the 1700s.

These next two weeks are going to be hectic and it is times like this that I wish that I could quit school and do something fascinating with my life. Oh well, it is snowing and I would quickly go for a night by a fireplace while reading instead of this. In two weeks I can! Oh happiness.

Lord, help me.

Well, since it has been more than two weeks since I last wrote, I decided it was time to finally write. I am sick...and I have no motivation...so that is making it very hard to get anything done. And, with one and a half weeks left of classes, I have no time to not have motivation.

Two weekends ago I went down to the little quiet town of Preston, where Dwight and Amy live. While at their house a couple of weeks earlier for Tate's birthday party, Amy invited me to go on a tour of B&B's, so two weekends ago I drove there and was greeted by the most hospitable little boy yelling out of the back door, "Come in, Gretchen! Would you like something to drink?" Tator Tot is too precious. For real, it takes a lot to be more precious than him. :) I came back for two days of classes before I was able to head home for Thanksgiving, which was sort of stressful as I was trying to write a couple of papers.

Once again, home was lovely. By the time it was time to go, I found myself wishing that I could just stay home until Christmas break. Now, I am stressing over how I am going to get a couple of big papers done by next Monday. Yikes...It's not hard for me to write when I actually know what I will be writing about. I actually love to write, but it is so hard to come up with topics. So, right now, I'm lost. With being sick and all, I just wish I could crawl up into my bed and sleep or watch movies until it is time to go home. Not sure if I will make it these next couple of years. Until spring of senior year, I will be taking 18 credits plus I will have two jobs. I wish I could be done now, how wonderful that would be.

On a different note, I want to make these. Mama, get ready, because we will be doing this when I get home for Christmas break!

Cheer up, Love.

My history professor has a way of making me believe in myself like never before. I waltzed into her office to talk to her about changing my history minor into a major after she mentioned to me that I should think about making the switch a few weeks ago. She was looking over my four year plan and exclaimed in joy when she noticed that I was taking a class from her in the spring. Little did she know that I planned on taking another class after that the next fall from her as well. Luckily, she was excited for that one too. I laughed at her and asked her if she might not get sick of me by then in a joking manner, and to that she responded so sincerely, "No, not at all. I love having you in my classes. You are such a work horse; I can't believe how you pour yourself into the work." That made me feel so exceptional. I think a lot of times I don't think I can keep up with everyone else or that I get caught in this snare of thinking I am not good enough or never could be, but to hear that from her was...truly amazing. This is the same teacher that also asked me to be her T.A. for my last two years of college. I am so excited to work with her and get to know her better because she truly is an amazing teacher. I am thankful for teachers like her. What a blessing.

Lazy Sundays.

I could go for one of those lazy Sundays I used to have when I was still living at home. Ideally, it would be cold, with a fire going, reading some books, or watching Little Women. It's just that sort of day. Ah, that just sounds way too good right now. I think senioritis is kicking in a few years early...

Yesterday, my best friend, Megan, came to the cities to see me. She wanted to do some shopping, so at 11 in the morning we headed to the mall. Pretty soon we abandoned the idea of shopping for jeans, what we had originally gone for, and instead, started looking at all the dishes and home goods in every department store. We were dreaming of what color we would get for a kitchen aide (I chose the pistachio color) and picking out china...sounds lame, but it was so much fun! This will also make me sound lame to every person that thinks you can't start thinking about Christmas until after Thanksgiving, but I was starting to get so excited as I saw the Christmas decorations and the whole bottom floor of Macy's all decorated for Christmas. It was kind of a bummer when I got outside and realized there was no snow. After we left the mall, we drove to the JoAnn's right across the street where I purchased some knitting needles and yarn. That's right, Megan started to teach me how to knit! Admit it, I am the coolest person you know. ; ) We enjoyed a fabulous meal of pasta and cheesy bread along with some coffee flavored ice cream while we watched Grumpy Old Men (the funniest movie right after Tommy Boy) and she began to teach me how to make an infinity scarf. It will be mustard yellow. Already it is so pretty and I can't wait to finish it so that I can wear it! One slight problem...after she left, I realized that it was twisted, so I had to start over and I spent many hours trying to figure out what I had done earlier. No worries though, I have got it under control! Well, better quit dreaming and actually get some homework done!

Distracted.

Right now I am sitting in my living room trying, well not trying to hard, to read an article for history that is due tomorrow morning, but I look outside and all I want to do right now is go for a long walk. When it is cool and gray out, I simply want to go on a walk and feel the cool crispness on my cheeks. One does all their best thinking while on a walk, I think. I would do my homework outside, but I know I would just be too darn distracted and nothing would ever get done. However, sitting in my living room looking out the window while sipping on some pumpkin spice coffee will suffice for now. I long for the day when I will not have assignments on my mind and I can just go out for a long walk. Also, I am looking at pinterest and I would love to start a few sewing projects. First thing, get my own sewing machine that I can take to school! Then I would never get anything done. :) Oh well…

Soon.

So, I decided what I want to do with my life. That’s right, this girl finally figured it out. I am going to have an antique shop/book store/ coffee shop. Yep, all three in one, it’s going to be great! Oh also, I am going to sing in a jazz band. Yep, life is now figured out. :)

Blessed.

Alright, this might be sort of a long one since it has been so long and I have had so much to write about, but I have been simply too busy to do anything I have really wanted to do. I titled this post blessed because I have been realizing how blessed I really am. It has been quite a difficult time since I last posted just with school, work, and my confidence in myself, but despite all that, I am surrounded by people that love me and constantly show me that. Today, as I was working on a writing assignment, I became super overwhelmed with everything I had to accomplish before my morning classes tomorrow. I was feeling anxious like I just needed to get outside and take a walk by myself, but I didn't see how that was possible with everything I needed to do. Out of exasperation, I walked into my roommate's room to talk about how ridiculous it was that my 2000 word response was only worth 10 points and it was stressing me out like crazy that I was sure it had to be worth more. Anyways, I vented to her and before I knew it, I was crying uncontrollably and just venting about everything that had been stressing me out and had been bottled up for a few weeks. My roommate, Emily, is great. She just sat there, when she had homework too, and listened and prayed for me. That helped so much just to know that I had someone there who genuinely cared about me and what I was going through. Yesterday a similar incident, well not so similar, happened. I received a letter in the mail from Brookie that was the best encouraging note I could have ever received. It was exactly what I needed to make it through the rest of my day. Talking to my sister, Virginia, this last weekend also helped just to hear a familiar voice and someone that I really look up to as well. Some verses that have been helping me to get through my struggles are Habukkuk 3:17-18. I have listed that verse earlier on here, but it is one that I am constantly going to and constantly reminding myself of it. It is really a great couple of verses. Another one my roommate shared with me today was Psalm 62:5-9 which is also amazing. And yet another right at the top of my blog, Psalm 30:5b. How blessed we are to be surrounded by people and to be so loved by God that we don't need to find our confidence and love from anyone or anything but Him.

So, on another note. I got to go home two weekends ago and it was so relaxing and wonderful to be there. I hardly left my house, but that was really all I needed to get rejuvenated. That is a picture of the home I love so much up at the top. The whole weekend all I did was cleaned (which I love), baked, watched Gilmore Girls late into the night with my mama, went on a picnic with mother dear and my aunt Jeanie, church at the little church in Alsen complete with a potluck, and that pretty much sums it up. Last weekend then, I was at school and I worked the entire weekend, which was sort of nice. I got extra hours and completed a ton of homework for the next two weeks! So that made me feel accomplished. I love when I can have a list of things I need to do and can just quickly go through them checking one thing off after another. I think that is why I love cleaning so much, you can see the results right away and that just makes you want to accomplish more.

I seriously planned on writing more, but I really need to get to bed. One last note, I have slept so much in the last day it is ridiculous. I went to bed last night at like 10:30 to read and fell asleep by 11 when I don't need to be up until 8:00ish. Then all day I was practically falling asleep in every class...so I came back after lunch at 2:30 and slept until 4:15! To which then I woke up and was stressing about my history homework because I hadn't planned on sleeping that long and had completely slept through my alarm. I guess I needed it! Anyways, I really need to get to bed. I hope that you all have a blessed day and that you see God's goodness through every little thing, the storms and the joys. Good night.

Rambling Man.

I promise I will hold off on the songs for awhile, but you need to hear this song first….

Oh, naïve little me

asking what things you have seen

you’re vulnerable in your head

you’ll scream and you’ll wail till you’re dead.

Creatures veiled by night

following things that aren’t right

and they’re tired and they need to be led

or you’ll scream and you’ll wail till you’re dead.

But give me to a rambling man

let it always be known that I was who I am.

Beaten, battered and cold

my children will live just to grow old

but if I sit here and weep

i’ll be blown over by the slightest of breeze.

And the weak need to be led

and the tender I’ll carry to their bed

and it’s a pale and cold affair

i’ll be damned if I’ll be found there.

But give me to a rambling man

let it always be known that I was who I am.

It’s funny how the first chords you come to

are the minor notes that come to serenade you

it’s hard to accept yourself as someone

you don’t desire as someone you don’t want to be.

Oh, give me to a rambling man

Let it always be known that I was who I am.

Beautiful.

Why do we close our eyes when we pray?

When we cry?

When we dream? Or when we kiss?

Because we know that the most beautiful

things in life are not seen,

but felt by the heart.

I just love this picture and these last two sayings I posted. Recently, I found all three and they have been posted on my bulletin board above my desk. This picture is one of my new favorites because it is so different. I love history and looking at old pictures, but this one is different from the rest. Rather than looking stoic and miserable, you can see the love between the mother and her daughter. I don't know...I just love it.

COZY.

Some things that make me happiest are when I can hangout with my friends on a Friday night just watching movies and sitting in big baggy sweaters. What joy. :) Also, earlier today I went on a walk with one of my friends and had the swellest little chat. Fall is just a cozy time of year. When there is a chill in the air and the trees are changing, it is the perfect time to get cozy.

I have realized that I love political science. Weird, I know, but it's true. I am in a government class and it is one class I look forward to most. My professor is grand, which may have a large impact on that. She has us coming each day to class with news stories that we discuss together. Because of that, I started picking up the paper at school. Who knew that reading the paper was so much fun? Ha. Anyways, that is something I discovered I loved.

One more thing I love: Bon Iver. I recently just bought his new album and so all I have been listening to recently is Bon Iver, all three albums I have of his. He's grand, simply grand. How can one man have so much talent? It's beyond me...

One more bit of randomness...I am making a photo collage for my room using all black and white photos. It's going to look so sweet. One of the pictures I am going to put up is above.

Good night and sweet dreams.

FALL.

When school starts, I feel like it should be fall. You know, cool, crisp, changing leaves, a tad bit of bundling up. :) Mhmm...that always makes me happy. I keep seeing pictures of fall and winter scenes and other little things that makes me think of the changing season. Fall is by far my favorite season; I just love when you can bundle up with a sweater and some hot chocolate. Thinking about it right now gets me so excited when that time comes. Here are a few of the pictures that I saw that got me into this crazy mood where I just wish it would get colder already.

What's your favorite season?

SCRATCH THAT.

So, never mind about moving to Chicago. Did you know that it is a pain to transfer? Well it is. In order for me to transfer I would have had to take some classes in the summer, plus additional Maymesters, and take 18 credits a semester. If you know me, you know that that would not be okay. It stinks that I won't be living with Kali in our nice little home, but I am happy going back too. Bittersweet, really. As exciting as it sounded to be independent and on my own, I realized that that would take alot of courage on my part, and that is something I need to work on. Are any of you working on something?

NEW.

Sorry, I've been real lame. I have news! I now live in the Chicago area and have been spending the last few days moving in and hanging out with Camp people. It has been stressful, but good; so, so good. I'll let you know more later...Until then, peace out.

I'M BACK.

(Short Version)

I'm home.

Camp was swell.

(Longish Version)

This year was definitely the hardest year; it was good, but hard. For one thing, half the staff was new and young, so that was a challenge in itself. I felt that I also became much closer with the veteran staff, so that was a blessing.

Relationships are hard. I felt stretched by trying to make relationships work. Sometimes at camp, it is so hard because your are working, playing, and living with the same group of people. You would think that in the 1000 acres of camp that it wouldn't be that hard to get away from people, but believe me, sometimes it is. Overall, it was great. I became super close with a couple of girls, and other friendships were deepened as well. I am thankful for this summer, as hard as it was at times. I learned many things and questioned others that I have yet to figure out. I am blessed. Hope you all had a delightful summer.

On top of the lighthouse with my friend, Cally.

Some of the girls and I at Grand Marais.

So Long For Now.

Tomorrow i leave for Minneapolis, then Saturday i will be heading up to Camp Paradise in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I am super excited to get up there. I love camp. It is one of my favorite places to be other than home. If you would like to send a little note my way, here is my address. :) I would love to hear from you!

Camp Paradise

Gretchen Luhmann

P.O. Box 657

Newberry, MI 49868

Quilts.

So far my summer has been consumed with piecing my quilt together. My hope is to finish hand quilting it while I am at camp! Here are a few pictures of the process.

Weddings.

Wasn't she gorgeous?

I absolutely loved her dress and her style. I love how she seems so simple, but yet so classy. The way she carried herself too, I am so jealous of her poise and grace. My floor woke up at 4:40 in order to watch the Royal Wedding, complete with chocolate chip pancakes. It was so much fun! Definitely a memory that will stay with me. I feel like I was able to participate in something special and significant. It's not everyday that royalty gets married and half the world is watching. Even though I only received 2 hours of sleep last night, it was still worth it!

Craving:

Summer, home, the lake, the cabin, long weekends, bonfires, s'mores, hugs, flowers, books, tubing, grills, CAMP Paradise, nieces and nephews :), flannels, swimming, road trips, and some good ol' music.

Doesn't that sound just lovely?

Church...and other things.

So, lately I have been thinking about the church and what the church is all about. I just got back from choir tour and we were in many churches. Lately, churches have been bothering me. Bothering me in the sense that they are all so cookie cutter and spend tons of money just to have nice things. One of the churches we were in made a big deal about showing everyone God's love. Are we actually doing that? By spending money to have nice things are we losing opportunities to use that money for other things? Peter Singer, a philosopher at Princeton, asked the question, "If you were wearing a really nice pair of shoes and there was a child drowning, would you jump in the water and save them even though you couldn't take off your shoes." Well, everyone would most likely say yes, but he shot back then why not just forget about buying the shoes and use that money to sponsor a child that is living in poverty? Peter Singer gives away 80% of his income to sponsor children. I'm not saying that we should all be that drastic, but could we be doing more? I feel like we could. I am going to start reading The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, right after I finish Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. Super excited for it!

Also, after writing my paper on consumerism in college writing, it has sort of become a passion for me, realizing that things aren't everything in this world. I want to become better. God created this world and we should do our best to keep it's beauty alive.

On a happier note: 5 weeks and 4 days left! YAY! That is definitely doable.

Bucket List

Today while sitting at home, I decided on a few things I want to learn before I die, well maybe in the next few years. :)

They include:

Learning to crochet from Gladys Buell.

Learn to develop film.

Learn to sew.

Paint.

It's short, but it sure is sweet.

Sunday

It always amazes me how a sermon can seem to hit the nail right on the head. Last Sunday it did that for me. I have actually been thinking about that sermon all week and how encouraged I felt after listening to Bill Hybels speak at Willow. His message centered around Habakkuk 3:17-18.

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will REJOICE in the Lord,

I will be JOYFUL in God my Savior.

With everything happening in my life right now, this was truly a wonderful reminder of the unquenchable faith in God I so desire.

Tears.

He will wipe every tear from their eyes.

Revelations 21:4a

This verse caught my attention today. It has sort of been a tough week, so this was exactly what I needed, some assurance.

New Love.

I just found this one, so I had to add it too!

Vivian Maier's photography is just grand.

(you should all check it out)

Roommates.

I have been truly blessed with my roommates.

I have been challenged, loved, and cared for.

The conversations we have together,

have been the best that I have had

at Bethel.

Our late night chats...the best.

Recently, while talking late one night,

we decided that we should pray with each

other each night.

I really love this.

We may joke around a ton and make fun of each other,

but deep down, we love each other.

I have truly been blessed.

John 16:33

These things I have spoken to you,so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage;

I have overcome the world.

May I never forget this for as long as I shall live.

Facets and Quirks.

Learning is something that never ends. There is so much i long to gather in this life. I hope that someday when people look at me these are a few of the facets...and quirks, they see in me.

Classy.

Happy.

Content.

Full of Love.

A Helper.

Trust.

Generous.

Caregiver.

Strong.

Confident.

Prayer Warrior.

Reflective.

Honest.

Bold.

A Writer?

Humble.

Full of Grace.

Intentional.

Lovely.

An Artist?

Crazy Fun.

Fair.

Sweet.

Valuable.

Note.

I just read this little gem.

"May today bring you peace within.

May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are both of faith in yourself and others.

May you use the gifts you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content with yourself just the way you are.

Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to SING, PRAISE, and LOVE.

It is there for each and everyone of us."